Russian Weddings Part 1

Ksusha - the wedding preparation.

What a whirlwind! 3 weeks ago Ksusha (Nastya's best friend) dropped the bombshell. The announcement was a shock to everyone. She would be relocating to Moscow with her boyfriend Anton, but before that both of them would tie the knot. 3 weeks later, Anton and Ksusha are married and now live in Moscow. I must give it to these Russians, when they want to do something there is absolutely no stopping them. A wedding in 3 weeks, I can just hear you all saying , "impossible". Well in Russia anything is possible.

Russian weddings are epic. 2 day affairs of wild celebrations, pranks, hi jinks and of course copious amounts of drinking. My own wedding involved the father of the bride stripping down to his underwear, the bride being stolen from the ceremony and the groom having to serenade his future wife from the street. Western weddings are more formal and for some reason take a ridiculous amount of time to organise. I remember the absolute uproar Nastya caused when she told the dressmaker that she needed her dress in 8 months time. Over here, a dress in 3 weeks, bez problem. A reception organised in 3 weeks, bez problem. Flowers in three weeks, NO PROBLEM!

It's a grooms paradise! The whole wedding preparation experience that normally takes over a year and sees so many good men knee-capped from tedious decision to tedious argument, can actually be over in less than a month. Swift, painless and effective, just like any good operation.

Weddings in under 6 months, what a concept! Maybe there's a business idea in it.

The differences don't stop with the preparation time. This is just the beginning. Russian weddings are pure theater and full of surprises. Before the ceremony the groom must pick up his bride from her parents. However, this is not as easy as just strolling on over and whisking her away in the car. The groom must show his "worth" before the family excepts him. This "worth" is determined through a serious of tests that inevitably cause great embarrassment and sometimes some serious money changing hands. The groom must fight to claim his bride.

Russians live in apartment blocks, and the higher the bride's apartment, the more effort the groom has to spend. There are posters with jokes and questions regarding family life all over the walls on his way up made by the bride's friends. Each stair-well is a challenge for the groom - he must answer a question to be allowed to progress to the next level. It's a team work - bride's friends ask devious questions (about the bride and the bride's family), and the groom must answer with the help of his friends. For example as in my wedding, he may be shown a few photos of baby girls and asked which one is his bride. If he guesses wrong, he must pay cash to pass this stair-well. (If the building has a lift it will be usually blocked by the bride's team; but if the groom manages to find another way to the bride's apartment than the stairs, it's his right. He can climb up the wall or climb down from the roof - it would be much more fun but grooms are seldom that adventurous.) So it can be quite a tough intellectual task to get to the door of his bride. He can be also asked to sing, to dance or anything else. But eventually he will make it of course.

Waiting for the groom.

The whole process is very long and detailed, with tradition after tradition. I will continue the commentary in my next posting as the groom finally gets to the enterance of the brides house.

Anton and Ksusha