Infected????

Groping one's way down a dark, damp tunnel, may not be every one's cup of tea, but for me it felt as if I'd just stepped into the "Delorian" and was heading "Back To The Past". The first few meters were pitch black, however slowly as my eyes adjusted the underground city began to take form. The hallways were well constructed just like any other, except for the ZARAZHENO (INFECTED) sign at the entrance and the ubiquitous Soviet, in case of nuclear strike, action plan posters, plastered wall to wall down each corridor. Eerie to say the least, and what's with the ZARAZHENO sign? Had there been some sort of radiation spill down here? I was assured everything was cool, apart from the fact that I could be thrown into a Russian prison if caught down here. I wasn't sure what sounded better radiation poisoning or Vlad's Turma.

Anyway trepidation aside we continued to stumble our way around splashing light on anything of interest. Old typewriters, crumbling televising sets, rusted irons and various other electronic bits and pieces were scattered throughout the many rooms. Fascinating stuff! Everything left the way it was when the Cold War was at it's peak. The only problem was that the along with the rest of the stuff down there, the floor to was a relic and every now and then you'd here a crack as one of the diggers feet plunged through the floor boards and into the mud. So when one of the guys worked out how to turn the lighting on it was quite a relief. With the lights on one could gain a real appreciation of how this place was constructed. Quite an impressive engineering feat.

Apart from the standard rooms stored with all sorts of nick-knacks, there was a movie theatre, sound studio, various officers, boss's headquarters and residence, water station, library, diesel station....etc...

The temptation to stay down there the night and potter around a few rooms, maybe browse through the library, was a hard to resist. Somehow though, I don't think Nastya would have agreed with me and so after a few hours we surfaced and to our surprise day had turned to night.

"Infected and Happy New Year" - Typical black Russian humour.

"Boss's Headquarters"- "Yeah, is that Donatella? Can we order the next range in a slightly darker tinge of green?"

Subterranean!

I have heard a few mysterious rumors from the locals about them, and I have read just a few snippets of information on them, but in general very little information is available on the myriad of catacombs beneath Vladivostok. This vast maze of tunnels, closed off from the rest of the world, is a back up city underneath another city. Its purpose - a complete refuge for all of Vladivostok's residents, in case of a nuclear strike. Driving around town, I would often think that under the very road I was on, there might be a couple of bomb shelters connected by the odd cramped tunnel. However nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see! Digger day started normally enough. Cold at -15, but the blue skies left me excited and optimistic at the thought that finally I was to explore the unknown. A student of mine, Valera, sent through a text, " Nic, are you ready? We'll meet at the Lazor Monument at 16:20. Please bring torch, water-proof boots, camera and passport. My reply, "Valera, why my passport?" His follow up, "Just in case." What did "just in case" mean? I knew that these tunnels were off limits to the public, but was there a real risk of trouble. The last thing I needed was to get caught up in some international espionage scandal. I can see the headline now "Aussie teacher/spy caught snooping in secret Russian tunnels." Well, international scandal or not, I was committed. I was going underground! And I was also late to pick up my fellow colleague Serge and rendezvous at the monument with Valera and the rest of the diggers. Vladivostok's Diggers are a group of young adventures, who risk being strung up by the authorities, in the pursuit to explore, photograph and document Vlad's subterranean twin. I just happened to teach one of their newest recruits in Valera and luckily was offered this unique opportunity. As a matter of fact, I felt very fortunate and strangely like a modern day Indiana Unsworth-Jones.
And so there we were, group of 3 Diggers, Serge and I trudging up a little side-street right in the heart of Vladivostok. "The entrance is just over here," Valera panted as he pointed to some thick undergrowth just off the side-street. I was a little skeptical, and couldn't see any resemblance of a door and we were right out in the open where all of us could be seen. So much for that romantic ideal of a secret, hidden away from the rest of the world. "Quick get under here", one of the Diggers whispered. "We can't be seen anywhere near this spot!"
Under the thick scrub we scampered and low and behold there it was. One enormous steel door! It was nothing like I had imagined. Its sheer size and thickness was imposing. Valera had mentioned that one of the Diggers had a key and so I envisaged maybe a large padlock or something resembling a lock. No such chance, this was literally a wall of steel with a strange partial hole in its centre. Nothing like a keyhole. Getting in all of a sudden locked highly unlikely. Hang on what's this, from out of one of the Digger's bags emerged a meter long metal crow bar like stick complete with a turning handle. Aaha so there was a key! Although, it wasn't as simple as putting the stick in the hole and turning it around. The Digger operating the enormous "key" turned and turned the key as if cracking a safe and after a few minutes simply stopped and announced that's it! The door of course didn't just pop open as it would in the movies; it took three of us, using all our strength, to pry the heavy beast open. Out came the heavy duty flash lights and into the pitch black of the tunnel we entered.

Stoyanka mayhem!

OK, now that I've calmed down, I can retell this little miss hap, that could have been far worse than it turned out. The plan this morning was a simple trip to the doctors. I've had this dry cough for the last 2 months and someone suggested a brilliant idea, "maybe you should go to the doctors?"
So 8am this morning I stepped out of the pod'ezd and into a completely different landscape. What were once roads and footpaths were now one big ice-skating rink. Cool, I thought, until taking my very first step and in doing so nearly re tearing my groin. This was impossible. People were either moving at a snails pace or ceremoniously upended on their rumps.
"So the walk to the stoyanka to pick up the car would take a bit longer. Big deal!"
Upon reaching the stoyanka, my only thought was getting in the car and getting warm. "Alarm, please work!" I prayed. In the last few months my car alarm has been acting as fickle as a gay boy from New Farm. "Please work first go!" I pushed the button and heard music to my ears, the irritating beep beep of the alarm disabling. "Great, all would be OK", I thought as I reached for the handle. Hang on, why is the alarm off but the door doesn't open ?
I pushed the disable button again, beep beep, off went the alarm but the locking nob in the car stayed down! It didn't budge! It was frozen stiff. "Oh ch#!$t!" Being a small stoyanka I had parked in numerous other commuters eager to get to work. This could turn ugly.
Running around to the other side I tried the alarm again and for a split second the locking knob on the passenger side flicked up and back down. There was my chance. With the reflexes of a BBC 400 meter champion, I hit the alarm and opened the car door in one Usain Boltishly quick maneuver. "Yeah, still got it!"
Felling rather proud of myself, I clambered into the car and started the engine. Now for the next task, cleaning the windscreen of ice while waiting for the car to heat up. A usual chore for the Russified Aussie. So, leaving the car running, music blaring and my precious manbag, (containing passport, phone, wallet and all other necessary documents just to be allowed to walk down the street in Russia) in the car, I got out and closed the door..........................
IT LOCKED AGAIN!
This was bad, correction this is Russia. I hate to sound so pessimistic but if it's bound to go pear shape, well in Russia it'll go watermelon shape. Keys in the ignition, phone and wallet on the front seat, shansong pumping out of the speakers, DOORS LOCKED AND ME STANDING OUTSIDE IN -20 DEGREE WEATHER! What could be worse? Well, I'll tell you, 10 very disgruntled bear-like Russian men staring daggers at you. I had to move the car! AND quick! Should I break the window, no that'll be a last resort. I know, ask the toothless security guard Ura, he'll know what to do. Ura proceeds then in Russian, to explain the art of breaking into a car with the use of a few matches, piece of chewing gum, string and well that's about as in depth as my Russian obscure vocab goes. No, maybe I'll have to break the window after all.
Time was running out. The chance of my car being crumpled up into a little square box that you see at the wreckers, by the 10 parked in bears, who were keen to get to work or eat their next child, was very likely. Therefore I rushed home in the vain hope that Nastya would know what to do.
Well she did. I never knew about the spare key and alarm! Only a Russian would keep something like this form her husband. Maybe it's like the wife's version of a zanachka! Anyway, I don't know why it was hidden away and I don't even want to try an work out WHY? The Russian psyche is too complex to even try and scratch the surface. Just accept that in it's weird and wonderful way it actually works.
And the car door eventually opened. Urhaa!!!

Here comes WINTER!

Well, I'm not complaining. Here I am sitting at home, classes cancelled, catching up on a bit of Russian study. The reason, snow! Not bucket loads of it, but enough to seize the city of Vlad and force EF to cancel all evening classes. You see, Vlad's traffic is impossible on a good day, let alone one which sees rain, sleet and snow falling. The cities buildings are dotted around it's never ending rolling hills and as the temperature is due to drop to a chilly -20 degrees this evening, the roads will be inevitable carnage for any motorist game enough to challenge mother nature.
Strange, because this morning was a barmy 5 degrees. The forecast however for the next few days is in the - 20s. And yes, yet another Global Warming record; today was the first December day to record rain in Vladivostok.
Some interesting news on my behalf. Nastya and I will be heading to the big smoke, Moscow!
I have one more week left at EF. Then it's off to Oz in order to renew my visa and spend time sweating my butt off with the family for Christmas, before heading to the capital to take up a teaching position with Mayokovskaya EF. The adventures continue! Who knows what wild and wacky Russian impressions will eventuate when we embark on this next expedition.
But before Moscow I've got some serious reporting to do. The next few weeks will see me tackling some of Vlad's more peculiar sites. It's going to be Sightseeing, Bizarro World style.
The agenda will include:
1. A visit to Vlad's Mafia graveyard.
2. A trip through some of Vlad's radiation infested secret underground tunnels.
3. A couple of dips in the frozen Pacific Ocean.

Quite the adventures itinerary! Just hope I'll survive to tell the tale.