A Monk's Party!

"A word of advice for all those aspiring monks in the the middle of their monastic studies, DON'T COME TO RUSSIA for it will be the end of you." (Jo, former monk in Vladivostok.)

My first impressions were cynical to say the least. Joseph or Jo, is an American studying at the Russian school I attend and a former monk here in Vladivostok. He invited Anastasia and I to a party on Saturday night and I had no idea what to expect. Jo mentioned that there would be a heap of Russian and English spoken there and so I was intrigued. Intrigued also about Jo's story. Here was a former monk inviting me to what sounded like a good old piss up, while at the same time not hesitating to mention how many good looking girls would be in attendance.

The party was fascinating. A collection of all sorts. American teachers, accountants, students from the UK, French diplomats, and of course a collection of Russians with expat ties. Jo's story was even more fascinating. He fell from the monastery because of Russian women, a curse from the look of things, he didn't seem to mind. The night was typically jubilant and all nations seemed to get along except for the Rugby discussions with the French. I met some interesting people and felt very much out of my league speaking only 2.5 languages.

Jo passed out before we left, I think he enjoyed himself. The night left me wondering, if Russia can do that to a monk, what chance do mere mortals have when visiting.

Jo (seated) surrounded by his guests.

The night's stalwarts, one Aussie (me, taking the photo) and the rest Russians.

We've Got Wheels And A Place To Live

All the signs are here, however, I am yet so see any evidence of it. The news is full of stories about it and nearly everyone has a tale to tell. Russian crime and it's mafia are infamous all over the world. Houses here are locked up like Fort Knox with double steel doors, a myriad of locks and chains, surveillance cameras and hidden microphones. Cars are fitted with extra, highly technical alarms and immobilisers. Corner stores are guarded my heavily armed security.

This week we received our car, a Honda CRV, and along with it the car's security alarm system. I think I've finally worked how the remote works with its' 5 different buttons. The fun doesn't stop there, because once inside the car, one has to find the 3 different hidden buttons, (secret compartments) that are needed to be pushed, in the correct sequence, before being able to start the engine. With so many things to think of, it's no wounder I left the lights on the other night after driving to work. Big mistake as there is no such thing as the RACQ here in Russia. You have to fend for yourself or call your unimpressed Father-in-Law.

This week we also finally got out of Anatoly and Nadia's hair and moved into our own apartment. In an old communist style, it's quite compact but has everything we need including a massage chair!


Breaky this morning, caviar and tea.



Kicking back wondering if that old phone really works!

New beginnings.

I love this old Soviet propaganda art. It's very bold in art work and adjoining statements. This anti alcohol poster states:

"Who is clever and who is stupid! One is with a book, one is in the bar."

Today I was the clever one. Surrounding myself with Russian language books by morning and English language books by night. I have finally officially started work for English First. Tonight I taught 2 classes at an intermediate level. It was great, the students seemed to really enjoy speaking with a native speaker. Actually, I was surprised how much I enjoyed the whole experience.

Today I may have been the clever one with the books, but come the weekend I'll be hitting the pub. Monday, will be nose to the grindstone once again. No sickies for me.

"On a Sickie"

Oh, and by the way, today Nastya and I finally found an apartment. It's close to work, clean and has all the amenities we need, even a spare bed for when Kate and Dan pop over in Dec.

Tail Between Our Legs

Being kicked out of the bus and dropped 5 hours away from Vlad, 1 hour away any sort of village, was unexpected. A complete uproar for most. However, all considering I remained quite calm. This is Russia, so I have come to expect the unexpected. Like any true Russian, I just rolled with the punches and excepted the card I was dealt. I guess a nation that has been dealt so many bad cards in the past,(20million deaths in WW2, 30million in Stalin's purges, Communism, Perestroika, the Oligarchy, the climate, etc..), has learnt to deal with minor set backs as they should, with minor fuss.
So there we were, 5 hours away from Vlad and not a car, bus or any form of transport to be seen. I decided to just plonk myself down and go over some Russian grammar. After about 1/2 an hour a returning Chinese bus picked us up and the long trip home began. A combination of bus, hitching and walking (not necessarily in that order) followed. Arriving back home was pure bliss.

Happy Birthday Lisa

Last night my friend, sister in iron, powerlifting pupil Lisa, celebrated her 40th birthday. Lisa was recently picked to represent Oz in the up coming Commonwealth Powerlifting Titles in New Zealand. This "WONDER WOMAN" can deadlift a small car all at the body weight of just 56kg! Rest up in Italy Lisa, you've got some records to break when you get back!

We're Back!

"Don't be Naughty"

Our trip to China was suddenly cut short today, as Russian border guards told me I couldn't cross into China. Apparently the crossing point was only for Russian and Chinese nationals. All others must cross elsewhere. Being plucked from the bus by grumpy well armed border guards and left in the middle of nowhere was just another interesting Russian experience. Funny the tour company we booked through had no idea that this particular crossing was for Russians and Chinese only! It reminds me of the stuff-up in Moscow when we were sent to the wrong airport.

We will try again to cross into China on the 5th of October, this time at the correct crossing point; this time with a bunch of customs' officials from Moscow. I thought this old Soviet propaganda poster was quite appropriate, as today I felt like the naughty westerner.

Shopping

Tomorrow we're off to China! Suifenhe to be exact. Situated just over the boarder the town is a shopping oasis for Russia's Primorsky Region's residents.
Built solely for the purpose to quench Russian shopaholics, I have been told one can buy what ever your heart desires and at little cost. The only problem is that it can be quite dangerous. Last week a woman from Vlad was murdered. The town is very poor and Chinese Russian relations are not the best. There is some resentment towards the Russians, as it was only recently that Chinese market traders were swept form Russian city streets. I think we should be pretty safe with street wise Anatoly.

You think Traffic is Bad in Australia!

I thought traffic was bad back home. The term traffic jam, now brings on a whole new meaning. Brad and Mel, you remember the traffic back in Moscow, well Vald's is as bad if not worse. Cars, trucks and buses spread like "jam" everywhere. With no lanes, no rules, no decient road to drive on and the fiery Russian temperament anything is possible. Yesterday while in one such jam, drivers sick of waiting, just turned their cars off and walked home. That's right cars were just parked in the middle of the road vacant. This of course made the delays even worse. For one hour we didn't budge. Not a centimeter!

This is probably the biggest traffic jam of right handed cars going on the right lane.The majority of used cars are the imported Japan cars with right placement of the steering wheel, even authorities and police use these cars, but the roads are like in all rest of Russia are right sided so it’s just a mess.

It's not all about me.

I've had a few comments recently inquiring about Anastasia. Frankly yes, I have been hogging the lime light and so I think it is about time to let Nastya have her say. Over to you Nas.
Hi there everybody! Having a great time here back at home. It has been great to catch up with family and friends. I am not the writer in this family, I look after the money. :).......................Yep, writers block... Back to you Nic.

Well what can I say, she's short and sweet. Actually Nas has a few job interviews coming up, one in particular looks quite promising. She has been offered work near Vlad, but "near Vlad" must have been lost in translation because the offers are not very near.

One in Sakhalin paid extremely well and looked all go, until one takes into consideration where and what Sakhalin is. Sakhalin is the long elongated island at the top Japan. It has been a point of contention for many years as both Russia and Japan claim it as theirs. (Between 1905-1945 it was in Japan's hands). Today it is Russia, however Japan as not agreed to sign any formal agreement since the end of WW2 and so the ownership of the island is a bit of a touchy subject. The island itself is densely covered in wilderness and many areas completely inaccessible. Some areas no human has ever set foot in. The island is minimally populated and according to Nastya a bit of backwater. Personally I thought I'd love to check it out, until I found out that in Winter the island can be completely isolated as seas freeze and airports close due to bad weather. So it doesn't look like we are moving to Sakhalin.

Apart from that Nas has been relaxing around home and sometimes joins me at the gym to help with translating. Here's Mother and daughter in the kitchen. Many a masterpiece has been created in this kitchen, by those two pair of hands. Lucky me!

Larry The Patriot.

I'd like you all to meet someone extraordinary. Larry, (Russian name Ilya), may as well have Aussie blood running through his veins. Never have I met someone so passionate about Australia. He celebrates Australia Day, ANZAC Day, keeps up with all the local Aussie news, can recite "We Come From A Land Down Under", can retell Australian history better than any native and knows city's, suburbs and streets like a local. The guy may as well be an Aussie and as a matter of fact, that is exactly what he considers himself . After meeting at the gym, I quickly found out what a top notch bloke he was and so today we decided to catch up for a few beers along Vlad's boardwalk. Beers, sun, the water and good company, the combination was fantastic. Thank goodness you can drink where ever you like here.

Sunday arvo strolling along Vlad's boardwalk. Check out the sailor boys.

Ksusha's Birthday

The six of us Anton, Ksusha, Sasha, Gera, Nas and I headed to Абордаж in celebration of Ksusha's Birthday. Абордаж (Abordazh) is a quirky two level night club themed in all things nautical. Situated right on the water the club is supposedly quite exclusive. I was told before hand that there was "face control", so I tried to give my best "Zoolander" pose. It must have worked because before we knew it, we were whisked away to our table. No metal detectors this time, just a casual: " Are you carrying any firearms?" - asked by the 7ft giant at the door. "Of course we are! Didn't you realize that the arm of the Aussie mafia extended all the way to Vladivostok!", I felt like saying.

Once we were over our frosty welcome, the night started civil enough.

After a few drinks we hit the dace floor.After boogieing the night away we hit the street a very merry bunch.

Метелицa

Today in class we had a change of tempo. Every Friday, now, as part of my Russian language class, we spend two hours learning about Russian history and folklore. Our teacher, a passionate music conductor from one of Vladivostok's prestigious music schools, proceeded to teach us the folksong,"Metelitsa". My first thoughts about this were pure fear. Images off grade 3 choir practice at Indooroopilly State School came flooding back. Was the teacher going to prise open my mouth with her fingers, in an attempt to get me to open my mouth wider, like they had done in my youth? Thankfully not. The lesson was extremely moving. What passionate music! Extremes of sadness and depression followed by extremes of happiness and joy were reflected in the song. Combined with the understanding of the lyrics, "Metelitsa", was more than just music to my ears. The song seemed to sum up Russia. Its soul! Tender yet violent. Sad and at the same time cheerful. I highly recommend you to listen to it. Along with "Moscow Nights" and "Kalinka" this is the third folksong I've heard and now understand why they are still popular after hundreds of years. Passion!

Sun Life Fitness Centre

Just finished up work at 11pm and now can't sleep. So I thought it might be a good opportunity to fill you guys in on the fitness club I work at. I do feel a little disappointed however, because I left the majority of the staff back at the gym where they were well on their way through a bottle of vodka and wine. Can you imagine yourself, mid week, at work and along with quite a congregation of your colleagues, deciding that it is time, (11pm), to lay a spread out and crack open a bottle or two. These guys really know how to have a good time. One aspect of Russian culture I have come to admire. There is no time like the present when your with good company. "Sun Life" is like a family. The comradeship is infectious and very welcoming. I've never met a people so hell bent on being social. Aussies unfortunately, just don't push it that extra yard when it comes to mateship and being social. Something I thought we were famous for.

The club itself is fantastic and includes - Masseuse, beautician, hair dresser, solariums, sports bar, cafe, sauna, steam room, spin studio, all the bells and whistles and even electric toilet seats. My colleagues are all very qualified and I look forward to learning as much as I can from them. Check out Vasili. Apart from lifting small cars in his spare time, he has a 300kg bench! Today I watched him bench 100kg for 34 reps! Just in case you can't read Russian, that says "instructor".

Vlad's Roads

As I was being driven today to an interview with English First, (international English school), it dawned on me, I need to make comment on Vlad's roads and the driving. Vladivostok is beautiful. Situated in hilly surrounds, Vlad is not your typical Soviet city design. With hills up to 200m in height, the city is made up of low rise wooden dwellings mix with Soviet style apartment blocks. They are scatted criss-cross across the hillsides and offer fantastic views of the port. However, the roads are atrocious! A mine field of pot holes, the roads here are infamous all over Russia. They are so bad that most residents will only by 4 wheel drives and when looking for a place to live will scrutinize the local streets. It is common to see cars stuck waiting for a tow, one wheel swallowed by the road. The locals joke about it but deep down I think they are a little peeved off. One local mentioned that Moscow keeps all the money. Another said that the government doesn't like pouring money into the ground. It is tough however, 6 months of the year it is impossible to work outside and most of the other time monsoonal rains are drenching the city. When does one have time to build anything! Driving on the other side of the road is one thing, but dogging thousands of pot holes, pedestrians and tiring to find a fixed lane in the sprawl that is Vlad's roads is another. My time will come as by the end of this week our car arrives. There is a 50/50 chance the steering wheel will be on the right side of the car. What hope dose a conservative Aussie driver, use to the overwhelming restrictions of back home, have!? By the way, I got the job.

Anatoly's Birthday

Just got back from Anatoly's 48th Birthday. Just could not keep up with the rest of the oldies, so Anastasia and I ducked home, and besides I have work tomorrow. Check out the Birthday boy surrounded by a few fans.The restaurant was once again another Russian paradox! Check out the decor.Even though the decorations scared the living hell out of me, the sensational 80s era dancing left me in stitches.

Russian Night Club Peculiarities

Please let it be known, that the following list is by no means complete. The search for the many wonderful peculiarities, experienced in Vladivostok's night clubs remains in continual motion. Lucky me!
P1. Probably my favourite. Woman/men attendance ratio is 70/30 in favour of the girls. Cover charge for the gentlemen is often cheaper, as club owners want to encourage more blokes in the door. A complete opposite to back home.
P2. Dress standards vary greatly. You can attend in just about any get-up. For the guys, anything from suits to singlets are all go. For the ladies, anything short (top and bottom), tight (again top and bottom) and of course the mandatory stilettos.
P3. The unattractive are nowhere to be seen. Was there a sign at the door? Every second person, that walks by, could easily be the next super model or pin up. A single guys heaven.
P4. Security is tighter than an airports. Metal detectors, side arms, pure weight of numbers, ( both in how many security are employed and their individual body weights), and the meanest facial expressions in the world greet you as you enter. Being frisked is no longer a novelty. Anyone of these guys could play front row for the Wallabies.
P5. Don't worry about going to the bar. Take a seat in one of the booths and be served.
P6. Why buy individual drinks when you may buy the whole bottle. While bopping along to your favorite 70s or 80s hit remastered, why not order a few plates of food.
P7. Smokers, go for your life!
P8. After a few heart pumping tunes, the tempo will drop for the "slow dance". Guys, here's your chance to pick-up.
P9. The favour is then returned with the "slow white song". Girls here's your chance to pick-up.
P10. Club's dancing may also be interrupted with a semi erotic strip tease or some interesting hi jinks, thrust upon the patrons, by an over excited M.C.
P11. Styles of dance are as varied as the ability of the contestants of "Dancing With The Stars". Moon walking, Vanilla Ice moves, disco moves, what ever your fancy, the floor is yours.
The nightclubs here are great. Huge, normally 2-3 level affairs with an amazingly decorated interior. Just wait for the photos!

Anniversary 2nd of September.

Wow what a weekend. It's only now, 6.30pm Sunday, that I have been able to drag myself up from bed and shake the weekends hangover off. Friday and Saturday night was my opportunity to sample some of Vald's night life. Let me tell you, it certainly did not disappoint.

Friday Sasha, Maryanna, Nas and I hit the pub scene. "Hans" is a German style beer house that produces its own brew. Not a bad drop I might add. Service was excellent and the night was on it's merry way. Hang on, what was that? Was it English I heard? Strange, since arriving in Vlad I have not met one other native English speaker. Yes it was defiantly English. There at the bar, in true western fashion, was a bloke downing a couple of beers. What was the accent? I couldn't pick it. American? English? The chase for the elusive native English speaker turned out to be a false alarm. Daniel was Swiss bloke and spoke nearly every language! OK, so I am exaggerating. He spoke German, French, Spanish,a bit of Russian and English. What a character. Before long Sasha and Daniel were locked in friendly banter over which nation were the more seasoned drinkers. Daniel came out with an interesting claim, that Swiss pour their shots to the brim while Russians only go 2/3 rds of the way. A nation superior in drinking to the Russians. Could it be true? No, the second false alarm of the night. It turns out that the Swiss do pour their shot to the brim, however it is a watered down version of Vodka's 40% at a measly 10%. Daniel's bravado proved to be, just that. After 5 min he was legless and the title was back in Russian hands.

Saturday night Sasha, Maryanna, Oleg, Olya, Nas and I headed out again this time to celebrate our first anniversary. What a great night. "Minty Truffle" is a very cool, bar/coffee lounge with waitress on roller skates, funky DJ and a relaxed atmosphere. Midnight ticked by and after toasting to our first year of marriage we headed to " Davidoff" nightclub. Stay tuned for "Russian Night Club Peculiarities" where security is tighter than an airports' and the club's format is reminiscent to the old GPS school dances!